Building on yesterday's exploration of giving advice, I want to touch upon the second "don't" on the list of five “don’ts,” as identified by Dr. Derald Wing Sue in his lectures, that of receiving gifts.
While conventional wisdom discourages therapists from accepting gifts due to the potential impacts on the therapeutic relationship, I've encountered nuanced situations in my nearly two decades of practice where it was appropriate. In specific instances, the significance and appropriateness of the gift were paramount, aligning with cultural norms of respect and gratitude.
Understanding the cultural context of gift-giving is essential. For some, it symbolizes respect, and declining a gift could be perceived as disrespectful. I prioritize discerning the intent behind each gesture, ensuring that it enhances rather than disrupts the therapeutic alliance.
Touch, another delicate aspect of therapy, has its complexities, too. While professional guidelines advise against physical contact, there have been rare instances where a client-initiated hug or a culturally significant gesture has strengthened the therapeutic bond significantly.
A great example of the latter was a client where I noticed that the therapeutic alliance seemed to have weakened. When I inquired with the client, who had grown up in a culture of overt demonstrations of respect, they replied that I never used their name in session and I never offered to shake their hand at the end of the session. With some discussion, these seemed like reasonable requests that I implement to good effect on our work.
Recognizing the cultural nuances in gift-giving and touch is vital for mental health clinicians. While certain professions embrace gifts as tokens of appreciation, mental health practitioners must navigate these interactions mindfully, considering the cultural implications and significance behind each gesture. Refusal, when necessary, should be coupled with respectful explanations to uphold the integrity of the therapeutic process.
First posted on LinkedIn