In re-reading the recent New York Times Magazine article, I am struck by this passage:

Open marriages, I started to think, are not just for people who were more interested in sex, but also for people who were more interested in people, more willing to tolerate the inevitable unpacking conversations, the gentle making of amends, the late-night breakdowns and emotional work of recommitting to and delighting each other.

Few claimed there was no pain in nonmonogamy; but they were not afraid of that pain, whereas the notion of any extra pain in my life seemed an impossible burden, a commitment along the lines of taking on a second part-time job or caring for an ailing parent.

I appreciate the author's observations and her candor about her feelings. My overall takeaway from the article is that it portrays some of the challenges that come up in open relationships--other partners not knowing, jealousy, insecurity--as well as the possibility for success.

I don't believe that every relationship type is ideal for every person--I tend not to speak in all or nothing anyway--though the reality is that a variety of relationship types exist. Some people may know up front that one type or the other may or may not work for them. Others may need to try things out, with better or worse results, to get a better idea.